Redefining purpose, what does that even mean? In this vulnerable podcast, I’m sharing my journey to normalcy, to happiness, to purpose. Click the image to listen to the full 15 minute episode.
I don’t know about you but I would’ve bet money that 2020 was going to be THE year! I guess in a way it was THE year. The year of the pivot. In some way or another we all had to make a pivot and redefine our purpose.
Then May 25th happened and it rocked my world in a way I couldn’t understand.
My pivot came from George Floyd’s death. As a black woman, I have always lived with the understanding that I am black but did not allow it to define who I would become, the social elements I would move in or limit the capacity of my strengths. To be honest, I always felt like I lived my life without a boundary of color whether that was true or not. I believed that I HAD the choice.
George Floyd did something to me. It made me shift my Pollyanna, california girl, head in the clouds ideals and brought me back to reality. I just couldn’t believe these things were STILL happening today in 2020. It was like an enlightening and I will forever be changed. I’ve always had conversations with my children about race and predjudice so this isn’t hiding behind rose colored glasses. It was the blatant injustice that I couldn’t get over. THe idea that even if my son did everything right, this could still happen.
However the realization that my own son, my husband, my brothers could have been George Floyd, made this a trigger for me and completely knocked me off course. I felt like I had no idea what my purpose was. I was literally going through the grieving process. I wanted to share the way I found my way back to myself after the impact of George Floyd’s death.
I say all this because, I want to share how I made my way back to a fulfilled purposeful life. This is my journey back from grief to redefine my purpose.
I didn’t even know where to start.
I had already gained the covid 15.
I couldn’t focus.
Goals, what were those? Clarity, yeah, that was nonexistent.
How do you define purpose when you life seems completely upside down? You start with the end and work your way back?
When you don’t know where to start and at that time I didn’t, think about this: You can’t do anything without your health.” My grandmother used to reiterate this phrase to me during my 20’s, you know when you think you’re invincible.
So that’s where I began.
My purpose became the 3 pillars of my health. Physical, mental and spiritual.
I knew I didn’t have the bandwith to make big sweeping goals like I usually would so I decided to make micro-commitments to myself because at that time, that’s all i had in me.
Here are 5 tactics you can use when you don’t know how to start living on purpose:
- Take a break from the taking in- the news, the opinions, the lunch dates, the social media
- Focus on the 3 pillars of health
- Think as big as you can at that time and start small
- Trim the fat from your life – the excess and focus on the highest priorities -yourself and your family/ do the bare minimum Ask yourself if this serves a purpose?
- Commit to yourself
Here’s how it worked:
The first thing I did was determine where I wanted to be in each of these three areas:
- I just needed to start moving
- I needed to process what I was going through in a healthy non netflix and chill with wine sort of way.
- I wanted to feel whole again
So I decided that I would solely focus on creating 3 new habits
- 30 minutes of simply walking whether on the treadmill or outside (i would worry about the dogs later, the weight, the strength training and all the other things I would normally add)
- 30 minutes of writing (no matter what I wrote about, good or bad as a way to process my feelings)
- 30 minutes of reading or listening to something that would only improve my mindset
It takes 90 days to create a habit and all I could muster up was walking on the treadmill
Here’s what I learned:
Know your triggers and create boundaries to protect yourself (no social media, no news, headlines that hinted at topics surrounding this subject.
With adversity comes resilience
Tragedy united us in an unprecedented way
Commit to yourself to get back on track