Why New Years Resolutions Don’t Work for Over 90% of People
The ball drops at midnight, and poof, on January 1, we are going to become the most efficient people, right?
The gym is packed.
We’ve downloaded all of the best productivity apps.
The goals are written down “to make them concrete” right?
Let’s do this!
Now, fast forward.
2 weeks later, life happens. We miss 2 days in a row for the habit du jour and decide to throw in the towel!
It’s over.
Self-doubt creeps in…
“Why did I think I could turn into a fitness model? I’ve got kids, a spouse, dinner to make, a full time job. It’s just too hard.”
Of course, we’ve already joined the 91% of people feeling guilty for failing to complete them!
43% of people quit their resolutions by the end of January!
So if you made it past that you’re killing it! Pat yourself on the back
Why did we do it in the first place?
Those statistics aren’t shocking you out of your seat. Each year another article tells us that resolutions are hard to stick to blah, blah, blah…
Yet, at the end of each year, we gear up to do it again.
Why?
So we can start off year after year, feeling like a failure by setting more resolutions.
This is the definition of shared insanity since millions of us do the exact same thing over and over, expecting different results.
Just sayin’
You’re not alone though.
In fact, Ohio State University researchers found that 23% of people quit their resolution by the end of the FIRST week!
So how do we stop drinkin’ the Kool-Aid?
The “fresh start effect” is real a thing. The start of the year is not special, but it is a well-known reset for everyone.
We ALL take the time to evaluate the prior year, set new goals, choose a word… you know the deal.
So here we are, on someone else’s arbitrary timeline attempting to enjoy the holidays, relax, AND at the same time stay focused enough to truly evaluate the last year and decide how we want to become a better human.
It’s a lot to ask.
In order to change it, we have to approach New Year’s with a completely different mindset.
Create a Feedback Mindset
The bottom line is that you can create this ‘fresh start effect’ at any time if you’re intentional about it.
The start of the year, the month, the semester, the season, or the start of your next 6 weeks.
Over 3 years ago, I learned how important it is to distinguish between practicing a new habit and making a resolution for yourself.
One thought kept running through my mind when it came to resolutions:
Doctors practice medicine, lawyers practice law, and athletes practice their sport.
Why do we expect ourselves to be resolute in creating a new habit without allowing ourselves the time to practice?
Before I get into the method I started 3 years ago, let’s explore these two definitions.
The Cambridge definition of Resolution is a promise to yourself to do or not to do something.
There isn’t much wiggle room. You either hold your promise at all costs or you just broke a promise to yourself.
Ouch.
You either succeed or fail.
There is no in-between.
Many of us feel like failures at the start of the year when we can't keep our resolutions, even if we're the only ones who know about them.
Now, practice on the other hand can be a verb or a noun, and rightfully so when it comes to new habits.
According to the Cambridge Dictionary, Practice is a noun that refers to actions, not thoughts or ideas.
Here’s an example of practice as a noun: In theory, the trip ought to take three hours, but in practice, it usually takes four because of roadwork.
Now, Practice as a verb means to perform or work repeatedly so as to become proficient.
Which is actually the ultimate goal of a habit, right? We want to become proficient at waking up early, and working out at the gym on a consistent basis.
Here’s an example: Practice the act
Put your theory or goals into practice so you can practice the act to become proficient.
This is where the feedback mindset begins.
After you begin the goal, you can find out when you need to make improvements to become proficient.
Instead of being firm, we should make room to practice our goals. This allows us to approach our goals with a mindset that values feedback.
I call this the Practice Your Perfect 6 Method of achieving goals.
The workbook was designed to help you avoid feeling pressure from failure or success. Instead, it keeps you practicing consistently. Every 6 weeks, there are breaks to assess your progress.
You can take intentional pauses to practice more instead of giving up completely.
Instead of getting caught up in the 'fresh start effect,' we should regularly assess our progress and direction in relation to our goals.
The Key to Success
Setting lofty goals is definitely aspirational and some would argue that this is the point of setting goals in the first place.
Yet, just like doctors, lawyers, athletes, and countless other professions, we need to put our goals into practice. Goals are simply theories with a completion time attached.
The key to succeeding with goals is testing the initial goals you set. Remain open to feedback by putting them into practice. Subsequently, allow yourself to iterate as you continue the practice throughout the year.
In theory, things can only get better; in practice, they may well get worse.
In theory, my plan was to go to the gym after dropping off my kids, but they often forgot something important. So, in practice, I spent many of those days driving back to school during that time instead.
Things happen and an iteration was necessary.
Grab the free Practice Your Perfect 6 Workbook to create a feedback mindset with these 4 steps:
Create a theory
Put it into practice for 6 weeks
Create space for iteration
Press RESET
Rinse and Repeat.
Focus on practice rather than resolutions.
Remember, you don't have to reserve setting intentions and creating new goals for January first.
Next week I’ll show you how to create a continuous year with these intentional pauses combined with micro-commitments so you can crush your goals all year long.