Learn to Say No Without Being Rude

Communication Strategies For Entrepreneurs 

I think we can all agree that saying “no” is HARD! 

What about saying “yes” to someone or something when you really don’t want to? 

That’s just as HARD! 

SO… WHY DO WE DO IT? 

Maybe it’s because we are people-pleasers and don’t want to disappoint anyone, or maybe we are afraid of conflict. Perhaps, we even feel guilty after saying no. 

There are many possible reasons as to why we may have a difficult time saying no to people.

However, it’s important to remember that saying yes to something or someone really means saying no to another thing that you actually want to do. 

And if we say yes to everyone, we will ultimately lose control over our own wants and needs.  

I’ve been there, done that, and it’s not fun! 

Saying no is an ART and it’s something that I’ve had to learn over the years myself. 

Nowadays, I can say no without any guilt or shame and I’ve never felt more confident and in control of my life. 

The solution to all of this is simple: Just say “no” without any negative feelings attached! 

It’s easier said than done. But, it’s important to be able to say no. We can’t live our best lives and manage it all as social entrepreneurs if we aren’t in control and putting ourselves first. 

And we shouldn’t feel bad for saying no to others and we shouldn’t ever feel as though we have to say yes to something we truly don’t want to do. 

In today’s blog, I want to share some key phrases with you so that you can say no with extra care, while truly closing the door on the question. 

Now, this isn’t to say that you’ll never say yes again or you’ll never not do something you don’t want to do. This is just to give you all an option for when you do need to say no, but struggle to do so. 

Mindset Shifts to Make First

Before we get started, I want to discuss a few mindset shifts that need to be adopted if we want to accomplish this art of saying no.

Otherwise, we won’t be successful! 

Setting boundaries is not bad

First, setting boundaries is not something bad. In fact, you should set boundaries with everyone in your life. For example, if you like to workout at 8 in the morning everyday and don’t want to be bothered, let your family know that that’s your time to yourself. Remember that saying no is really saying yes to yourself. Self-care is important and you should be thinking about how you will feel physically, mentally, and spiritually when you set these specific boundaries to protect you and to get what you want from each day. Will setting this boundary make me feel better? Will not setting this boundary drain my energy? 

Think through questions like these! 

• Understand your priorities  

  Second, understanding your priorities and how you prioritize your family, career, friends, and more is important because it allows you to know what’s most important to you and you’ll ultimately base your decisions off those priorities. If it doesn’t align with your priorities then you may want to reconsider saying “yes” so quickly. 

• Disappoint others at the forefront ‘

  This leads me to my next point… Disappoint others at the forefront! 

  What this means is that it’s better to tell people “no” before committing rather than cancelling later on. If you don’t have enough time to commit or if your heart truly isn’t in the right place, it’s so much easier to say no in the beginning than to let someone down who had built expectations. 

• Hard no’s 

  The last thing is that when you say no, it has to be hard and clear. 

  By that, I mean that when you say no, don’t leave the door open. No one should be able to stick their foot in there and try to change your answer. But, what if we do it this way? Can you meet this day instead? What if it’s like this? No! 

  Make sure that NO MEANS NO.

Phrases to Politely Say No

Let’s get into how to actually say “no!” 

This first one is mainly for a beginner who is not accustomed to saying no and is unsure whether or not he/she wants to actually say no. This phrase is great for allowing extra time and space to think through what to say and how to present it to this person. 

• Let me think about it 

  What can anyone say to that! Tell the person you’ll get back to them, give them a date, and get back to them on that date. It’s respectful and is a clear way to tell the other person that you need time but will consider what’s being asked. 

• No + alternative 

  No + alternative is a great phrase to use if you truly want to help someone or if they’re really important to you. Saying to another person “I can’t do what you’re asking me, but what I can do is this” shows that you want to help out where you can and are trying to compromise. You can also use this phrase as a response to “let me think about it.” 

• Thank you for thinking of me, but I can’t 

  This is a phrase to say if you know that the answer is already a no, but you want to be polite. It’s clear and simple. If I don’t use “let me think about it,” I’ll usually use this one! I leave it at that and there’s no need for an explanation. 

• No, thank you 

  This one really speaks for itself. Obviously, this one is the hardest no. As long as people know that your intentions are good, they should be understanding.

Key Takeaways

After having read this blog, I hope you feel better about saying no and now realize why it’s such a necessary skill to have. 

Always ask yourself this: Does saying yes to this guide me towards my goal? Or does it steer me away from it? 

We should always be striving for alignment in our lives and making sure that what we’re doing daily aligns with the direction we’re working towards. 

For example, I decided to quit all my commitments to other non-profit boards when I started my social endeavor. I knew that being on other boards would only distract me from my goal. 

Remember that your time and energy are finite. 

If you’re helping out a friend, that’s great! There is nothing wrong with that. 

But, we can’t say yes to everything. 

So, prioritize yourself first! 

When we have a difficult time saying no to people and are constantly saying yes, it can really overburden us.

Have I made saying no into something more manageable? 

Which phrase do you think you would be most likely to use and why? 

Let me know in the comments below! 

Until next time.