How to Stop Being Shy and Connect With Anyone

We’ve all been in social situations where we want to get out of there as FAST as we can. 

But sometimes, we just gotta make it work despite wanting to be anywhere else but there. 

In today’s video, I want to talk to you guys about the 3 phases of a conversation that you can move through when you’re in a social situation such as a work event or party. 

Cheers to not being socially awkward! 

The Benefit to Being Shy

There’s a benefit? What? 

Yes! 

I don’t want anyone to take away from this article that being shy is something bad. 

Because it’s not! 

I’m a very high energy person myself and when I have shy people around me, we tend to vibe really well with each other.  

I almost feel like shy people tend to calm me down and it’s a much needed balance. In fact, I find it even enhances the environment. 

Does any other high energy person out there feel this way too? 

Anyway, there’s no need to stress about whether or not you’re shy. I don’t want you to change that part of you. 

However, I think many shy people can just be put off in some social situations because they aren’t prepared. 

So, let’s prepare today! 

Phase 1: Prepare for Engagement 

Generally, shyness stems from being self conscious to some extent or feeling as though you’re going to mess up. Therefore, my first tip to prepare for engagement is to ACT CONFIDENT. 

Now, I know this may not be easy and you may have to ‘fake it until you make it,’ but just do it! 

You want to come off as confident in yourself and this may require some inner work. So, be positive and give yourself compliments! 

An example of this could be that you look in the mirror before every social outing and you tell yourself that you’re beautiful and that you’re excited to meet new people. 

We’re preparing our mind by telling it what we’re going in there to do, which then shifts our mindset. If we are consistent enough, eventually we’ll believe it.

Silly, yes. 

Cheesy, yes. 

But, it works!

EYE CONTACT is my second tip. 

Strong eye contact is so important because it shows someone that you’re listening to them. 

Don’t stare at them! But look the individual in the eye, break eye contact at times, shift your gaze for a few seconds, and come right back. 

My last tip is to ADD THE FINISHING TOUCH. 

What I mean by this is that you should smile and say “hi”… to everyone you see. 

Maybe even a “how are you?” 

This sounds crazy, I know. 

But again, it works! 

Practice this everywhere and it will become natural for you. 

The next time you’re at a social event, greeting people with a smile and a “hi” will be easy. 

If you can get these 3 things down, you will succeed in social situations and be able to connect well with people. 

You will come across as 1) Charismatic, 2) Accepting, and 3) Ready to engage with people. 

We all want to feel accepted and valued. 

And by being enthusiastic and engaging using these simple tactics, it also shows that you value that person and the company they’re providing you. 

Phase 2: Creating Engagement 

This part requires real work because it’s something that’s often misunderstood.

Most people feel as though they have to be the life of the party or have to say witty things to win over one’s approval.

But, this isn’t true.  

You just need to ACTIVELY LISTEN.

This way, you’re paying attention to all nonverbal/verbal cues and can follow up appropriately. 

Make sure to acknowledge and react to what the other person is saying. An example of this would be “oh wow, that sounds great!” 

Then, make a connection to what the individual is sharing if possible.  

Now, if it’s not possible to make a connection, simply follow up with another question to learn more about the person. 

And that’s it! No entertainment needed! 

Remember that your job is to make the person (or people) you’re talking to feel accepted. 

You become memorable when you make others feel important.

Also, come in LOCKED AND LOADED with something to talk about because the conversation may start with you. 

If someone is asking you how you are, don’t say “fine.” 

Talk about something else in order to not leave the person hanging with just “fine.” 

Think through what you could talk about such as an upcoming holiday and keep these topics in your back pocket

When an event does come around, you will be prepared for the conversation rather than scrambling for what to say. 

In summary, start the conversation, get them to talk about something they want to talk about, and shift the conversation to a topic that you both resonate with.  

And that’s it!

Shift your mindset because it’s about THEM, and not YOU.

Phase 3: Deepen The Small Talk  

So far, you’ve probably had to show interest in the person you’re talking with through active listening and nonverbal/verbal cues, as well as asking follow up questions and finding common ground. 

Now, we want to keep all this going, but move past the small talk. 

To do this, really BE AUTHENTIC. 

Show how you really feel and even lead with a KIND ASSUMPTION. 

For example, you could say something like “I find you so funny! It seems like we have the same humor! I’m sure you’d love this new Netflix movie that just came out…” 

This allows you to deepen the conversation as you get to know the other person more, while opening them up at the same time. 

Make sense? 

By making a kind assumption, again you’re making them feel appreciated. 

And by being authentic, the conversation will become more personal with time. 

Final Thoughts 

My final thought is this… Don’t be afraid to be you! 

There is nothing wrong with being shy, these tips are just here to help you feel more comfortable in social situations. 

So, which tip will you try first? 

Bonus Tip For Entrepreneurs 

This advice is geared towards any shy person out there who wants to build strong connections with those around them. 

This advice is also great for entrepreneurs who aren’t sure how to introduce others to their business, for example, or how to even ask for a donation. 

During your conversation, if the topic comes up or if there’s a way for you to connect your business to the conversation at hand, do it! 

But be careful and don’t force it into the conversation. Remember that your relationships are separate from your business. You don’t want it to seem as though you’re engaging with someone because you’re wanting their support. 

Don’t worry though. 

You can always catch up again at a later date and bring up your business down the road once the relationship is more established. 

Whether you’re an entrepreneur or not, after having practiced these tips and tricks, you’ll be comfortable with creating engagement in no time.